haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
