i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Randomize
