I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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