Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
