You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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