Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
