I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
