ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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