hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I'm always down for nudity.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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