brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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