I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
jump out the window naked night went bad
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