this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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