If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
