have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
