Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
