i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
