Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize