you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
