I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Randomize
