My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
