ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize