OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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