I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
