New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
