You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize