Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
