Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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