the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
