I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
