He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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