don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
