are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
