Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
