exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize