how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
