I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
