All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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