Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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