I hope mine doesn't look like that
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
