I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize