I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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