yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
