Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
