Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Even my vagina gasped.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize