I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
