i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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