im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
