she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
