That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
