the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
