Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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