i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
