Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I wish I only lived at night.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
