I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize