Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize