Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
