He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Randomize